I fought the law and the law won

Have you realized how many traffic violations policemen commit? They must assume that, since they are the kings of the road, they can do whatever they feel like. I suppose it's true.

Orange Whip? Orange Whip? Three Orange Whips.

I imagine this is what goes on in a policeman's head.
So the sign says 30 mph, who cares? I have a car with sirens, a computer, a megaphone and a completely caged in back seat that you can't get out of. I'm going to drive as fast as I damn well please.


This is what goes through my head at the same time.
The policeman is going 25 over the speed limit without his sirens on. This means there is no emergency. This means I can go the exact same speed.


Sadly I've never attempted to keep up with the policeman in fear of being pulled over. Let's say I did. I imagine this is how the conversation would go.

Officer: Do you know how fast you were going?
Me: I believe it was 53 miles per hour.
Officer: Are you aware that that is 23 miles per hour over the limit?
Me: I am. But, I figured since you were doing it I could too.
Officer: I'm sorry son. That's not how it works.
Me: Well that's a bit hypocritical don't you think?
Officer: I'm sorry?
Me: Hypocritical. You can go 23 over but I can't. Are you saying that simply because you are a man of the law you can disregard the rules of the road?
Officer: I don't appreciate your attitude. Why don't you come with me.

As you can see, it probably wouldn't turn out too well in the end for me. Don't get me wrong, I don't hate police officers. Actually, my grandpa was the chief of police in my hometown for the first 14 years or so of my life. I actually know most of the police officers personally.

I just find it funny that they always seem to be the craziest drivers on the road. Also, I've noticed that everybody else seems to drive like 90-year-old women when a police car is present. They seem to forget that you can still go the speed limit even if a police car is near.

I think you spelled "police" wrong sir.

Next time you drive past a police officer rev your engine. See what happens.  Better yet, have your passenger stick his/her butt right up against the passenger window and see how fast you find yourself in jail selling cigarettes for your over zealous cell-mate "Tiny."